GENERAL ADVICE

CALMING SUGGESTIONS

WEDDING CEREMONY AND RECEPTION SITES

CATERING

PHOTOGRAPHY

VIDEOGRAPHY

LIMOUSINE

CAKE

FLOWERS

HAIR AND MAKEUP

NAME CHANGES

WEDDING ATTIRE

EMERGENCY KIT 

General Advice

People have been getting married for thousands of years without suffering from heart attacks or nervous breakdowns. Well... not very many heart attacks or nervous breakdowns! It's only recently that weddings have become more complicated with a plethora of new options and contradictory information from a variety of sources. A proper attitude, careful planning, and the right wedding professionals are the cornerstones that will help your Wedding Day become an exhilarating experience! One of the most important tips that we offer newlyweds is to prioritize "fun" over everything being "perfect". Something unexpected is almost certain to happen! The ceremony may not begin on time, the champagne may be warmer than you ideally prefer, Aunt Martha may have some punch spilled on her dress. So what? These are unfortunate occurrences, but not tragedies that should affect your perception of your Wedding Day! Newlyweds who simply focus on enjoying their Wedding Day and having fun instead of insisting that everything be perfect will be more flexible when something unfortunate or unexpected happens.

Secondly, get all agreements with wedding vendors in writing. These agreements (or contracts) should contain the complete agreement to prevent misunderstandings in the future. Be certain that all of the t's are crossed, and all of the i's are dotted. According to experts, 40% of all wedding-related problems are caused by Clients who didn't fully understand their contracts!

Thirdly, don't fall prey to the trap of trying to micro-manage everything. Instead, listen to the suggestions from your wedding professionals (caterer, photographer, videographer, mobile DJ). These experts can offer solid advice based on many years of experience at wedding ceremonies and receptions. They have first hand knowledge! They can also probably recommend other vendors to Brides and Grooms based on their professional experiences with these people.

Finally, on Wedding Day plan to relax, smile, laugh, visit, eat, drink, dance, and have fun! Your Wedding Day deserves to be filled with happy memories!

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Calming Suggestions

It should surprise no one that on Wedding Day, many newlyweds are very nervous. The following suggestions are offered as a possible remedy: Simplify your Wedding Day plans as much as possible. The more detailed your plans get...the better the chance that something will go wrong! Don't worry about the small stuff!

Leave the important details to your Wedding Day professionals (officiator, photographer, caterer, disc jockey, etc.). Arrange for a calm individual to handle last minute details.

Enjoy a bubble bath/massage the day before your Wedding. Take an entire day off from work and wedding planning during the week preceding your Wedding. Plan to smile, laugh, and enjoy your Wedding Day :-)

Take as many pictures as possible prior to the Wedding Ceremony to allow more free/fun time afterwards.

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Wedding Ceremony & Reception Sites

Once you have found each other and selected your wedding date, immediately make reservations for the location of your wedding ceremony and reception. Many places are reserved more than two years in advance. Traditionally, wedding ceremonies are held in the Bride's hometown. An increasing number of newlyweds are having both their wedding ceremony and reception at the same site. This creates a win-win situation for the newlyweds who have less expenses to cover, and for their guests who welcome the convenience.

Here in the Michiana Area, most weddings are held on Saturdays. Because of this, if you select a Friday or Sunday instead, you might find more locations available and at a lower cost!

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The Ceremony

Similar to the melodies heard during a motion picture, music will underscore the wedding ceremony to create the appropriate atmosphere. The actual music selections are usually determined by the personal preferences of the newlyweds, and sometimes the religious attitudes of clergymen (some wedding ceremony locations do not allow Wagner's "Here Comes The Bride"). There are five categories of music at wedding ceremonies:

The pre-wedding music sets the theme for the actual ceremony. This usually begins approximately thirty minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to begin while guests are being seated. The music selections are often light and lively, and played in a low volume allowing guests to converse.

Music for the entrance of the Bridesmaids is usually more formal, and presented at a higher volume than the pre-ceremony music. Although marches are popular, other beautiful classical selections such as Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" and Pachabel's "Canon In D" are often selected.

The first notes of the processional music announce the arrival of the Bride and inform the guests to stand! Because of this, processional music should be joyful and triumphant. Wagner's "Here Comes The Bride" is the overwhelming choice of Brides to enter their wedding ceremony area. Brides who are marrying for the second time or more often select a less formal musical selection.

During the ceremony, a soloist may sing or play a musical instrument just before the actual wedding vows begin. Sometimes a reading by a guest may substitute for music. This activity allows the Bride and Groom time to pause, catch their breath, and more fully enjoy the moment!

The recessional music usually begins immediately after the officiator introduces the new couple to the guests as husband and wife. Like the processional, this music is generally joyful and triumphant. It is often accompanied with the ringing of church bells or chimes. Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" is the music selection chosen by most newlyweds at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony.

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The Reception

Receiving Line vs. Bridal Party Introductions Traditionally, newlyweds have followed their wedding ceremony with a time consuming "receiving line." Today, the majority of Michiana's Brides and Grooms are choosing to allow their Disc Jockey from Pure Energy Productions to introduce the entire Bridal Party as they first enter the banquet room. This practice often frees up more time for fun later during dancing.

Disposable Cameras An increasing number of newlyweds are now having one disposable camera placed on each banquet table. This practice allows audience members to become interactive participants, and provides Brides and Grooms with informal pictures that their professional photographer might not capture on film.

Assigned Seating Why do newlyweds agree to assigned seating for guests at their wedding reception? Although this idea may sound good in theory and provides some control over their guests, it's not always popular! Additionally, some newlyweds and party planners sometimes spend hours and hours trying to figure out the perfect seating arrangement only to face the ire of disappointed adults who prefer to make their own decisions. At some wedding receptions and other social events, a small number of guests sometimes ignore assigned seating instructions and instead sit next to friends or relatives whom they have not seen in years. Other guests who have been assigned seats in the left field bleachers sometimes ignore their seating instructions and quietly move to a closer table occupied with people they know. This can cause problems for some people who are unable to sit at their assigned tables because all the chairs are occupied, and for other couples who eat alone because everyone assigned to their table has moved to other locations! It is usually best to just reserve one or two tables for immediate family.

It's Time for Toasts! What would a wedding reception be without a sweating Best Man trying to decide at the last minute what he is going to say during his toast to the newlyweds? At many receptions, these remarks are followed by additional toasts from the Maid/Matron of Honor, Parents of the Bride and/or Groom, and sometimes by the newlyweds themselves. After the meal (before the First Dance), additional speeches and/or live entertainment by special guests (singers, dancers, etc.) may follow.

After Meal/Before First Dance After the newlyweds finish their meal, they usually go table to table to visit their guests. Once the dancing starts, it is very difficult to get to speak with every guest, because everybody is up moving around. This post-meal time is also sometimes used by their professional photographer to capture a few additional formal pictures prior to the start of dancing

First Dance The Bride and Groom always select a slow song for their first dance. Although customarily the bride and groom dance the entire song alone on the dance floor, some newlyweds instruct the disc jockey to invite their parents or the rest of the Bridal Party to join them on the dance floor halfway through this song.

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Catering

At most wedding receptions, there are four types of food service (Domino's Pizza delivery is not politically correct!):

The buffet meal allows guests to line up and select their own food. Try to have both sides of the banquet tables available for guests to line up to minimize time standing in line. You or your caterer may prefer to have one table of guests escorted to the banquet tables for the convenience of your guests. If a large number of guests are expected, consider more than one series of banquet tables, or even "food stations" placed in various areas of the reception room.

A sit down, or formal meal usually consists of three or more courses. Guests are served by waiters or waitresses.

A cocktail buffet is often held for two to three hours in late afternoon. Finger foods and wedding cakes might substitute for a full course meal.

A tea reception is usually held in the early afternoon. Like its name implies, it consists of tea sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres.

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Photography

A growing trend is for newlyweds to take pictures prior to their ceremony. This allows more time after the ceremony for visiting with friends and relatives. Another popular trend is to have one disposable camera, or a new roll of film, at each reception table to allow friends to capture informal pictures.

When choosing a photographer, check samples of their previous work and clearly understand their price and payment schedules. Also remember that a professional wedding photographer should be an active participant in the wedding day activities, yet not intrude or dominate the Bride and Groom's available time.

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Videography 

Before selecting a professional videographer, check references from friends and your photographer. It is important that your professional photographer and videographer are able to work together in harmony. Also check with the ceremony location in advance to learn if there are any video restrictions. Determine in advance if the video producer you are considering to contract will be using professional video equipment, or inexpensive cameras that are available at department stores. Ask about the training of the actual camera person and the video editor. Finally, inquire if they will be using bright lighting equipment that may affect the comfort of your guests.

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Limousine

Limousines come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. In the Michiana Area, newlyweds have a choice of stretch limos, Hummer limos, sporty car limos, antique and classic vehicles and horse drawn carriages. During prom season (April, May, and June) limousines may be in limited supply so plan accordingly.

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Wedding Cake

During the days of the Roman empire, wedding cakes were traditionally broken over the head of the new Bride by her Groom. Guests would then scramble for pieces of cake, and take them home for good luck. Even though times have changed, wedding cakes do occasionally get smashed by newlyweds into each other's faces during the cake cutting ceremony! Wedding cakes are now available in a variety of flavors (cheesecake, carrot, chocolate, etc.), and may have the personalities of the newlyweds represented as a theme on the cake top. Even though simple three-tiered cakes are quite popular, more elaborate wedding cakes that are a true work of art with a price tag to match (up to $1.000.00!) are sometimes preferred.

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Flowers

Flowers are used to add beauty and fragrance to a wedding day. When choosing wedding flowers, take into account the size, architecture. and color schemes at the ceremony and reception sites. Flowers at the ceremony should establish a theme and direct the attention of the guests onto the Bride and Groom. Traditionally, wedding bouquets were made of strong herbs (such as thyme and garlic) to frighten away evil spirits, and to overcome the scent from some people who did not bathe very often. Today, flowers carried by the Bride and her Bridesmaids should continue the floral theme at the wedding ceremony. Good taste and seasons play an important role in the actual floral selections.

The Meaning of Flowers

Folklore, traditions, and FTD have cultivated the following meanings for flowers

Red Rose - LoveWhite Rose - Unity, or Purity & HumilityYellow Rose - JoyOrange Rose - PassionPink Rose - Secret Love, or Grace & SweetnessAcacia - FriendshipAlstroemeria - DevotionAster - Elegance & LoveBaby's Breath - InnocenceBasil - HateCalla Lily - Magnificent BeautyCamellia - Perfection & LovelinessCarnation - Devoted LoveChrysanthemum - Abundance & WealthDaffodils - Regard, Not LoveDahlia - Dignity & EleganceDaisy - Innocence & RomanceDill - LustForget-Me-Nots - My True Love Is YoursFreesia - InnocenceGardenia - Purity & Secret LoveGladiola - GenerosityHeather - AdmirationHyacinth - Playful JoyIris - Faith & WisdomIvy - Fidelity, MarriageIvy with White/Red Flowers - Marry Me?Lavender - DistrustLily (Yellow) -GaietyLily (All Others) - Majesty & HonorLily Of The Valley - HappinessMarigolds - JealousyMint - VirtueMorning Glory - AffectionMyrtle - JoyOrange Blossoms - Happiness & FertilityOrchid - Love & BeautyPansies - You Occupy My ThoughtsRanunculus - Radiant, CharmingRosemary - RemembranceSage - Wisdom, Great RespectSpeedwell - Female FidelityStephanotis - Marital HappinessSweet Sultran - Felicity, HappinessTulips - Love & PassionViolets - Faithfulness & LoyaltyZinnia - Friendship & AffectionReturn to 

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Hair & Makeup

One of the most important members of a Bride's "wedding team" is the person responsible for hair and makeup. If this person arrive later than expected, the entire schedule for the rest of the day may be affected.

 For continuity, have the same makeup professional for the Bride and all of her Bridesmaids. Photographs will look better if everyone is similar in appearance.

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Name Changes

Traditionally, the Bride changes her last name to her husband's last name. An alternative to this is for the bride to continue to use her maiden name, or hyphenate her maiden name with her husband's last name (long hyphenated names may have problems completing forms with insufficient space). Another alternative to this is to create a new surname, sometimes by combining parts of each person's last name (example: "Shore" marrying "Harrington" would become "Shorington") for both the Bride and Groom to use.

The following list includes some of the places where a name change may be required:

C Bank accounts (savings/checking/IRA/safety deposit box/etc.)C BillsC Business cards & stationaryC Car registrationC Club membershipsC Computer records & directoriesC Credit cardsC Driver's licenseC Employee recordsC Insurance (Life/auto/property titles/leases)C LoansC Marriage licenseC Medical records (doctor/dentist/etc.)C PassportC PensionsC Post officeC Property titles/leasesC School records (high school/college/etc.)C Social securityC Stocks & bondsC Subscriptions (newspapers/magazines/etc.)C TaxesC Utilities (phone/electricity/water/cable/etc.)C Voter registrationC Wills & trustsReturn to Top

Wedding Attire

Before making any clothing decisions, you should know that there are five styles of weddings: very formal, formal, semi-formal, informal, and the "don't tell mom and dad we're going to elope in Las Vegas" style! These styles may change based on current trends, geographic areas, ethnic preferences, and family traditions. For comfort, some newlyweds may wish to consider alternative footwear. For the Bride and her attendants, attractive white wedding sneakers decorated with white beads, sequins, ribbons, or simple white eyelits are popular alternatives. For men, formal looking black walking shoes (that are actually gym shoes) can be purchased at most shoe stores.

Fashions For Brides

When selecting a Bridal gown, Brides should remember that the back of the dress will receive a lot of attention. A Bride will be facing away from her guests more than half of the time at the wedding ceremony, and half of the time at the reception.

At very formal weddings, the Bride's gown may be in a stately white, ivory, or pastel tint. Her veil is usually long or full, and may double as the train. Long gloves are sometimes worn with a short sleeve dress. An elaborate bouquet, simple jewelry, and pale hosiery are also popular.

At semi-formal weddings, the Bride may choose a long stately dress of white, ivory or delicate pastel tints. The headdress is often finger tip length, and the accessories are similar to those worn in a very formal wedding.

At informal weddings, a floor length or current fashionable length of white or delicate tints in simple trainless style is sometimes chosen. The veil is usually short to elbow length. A simple bouquet is often selected.

At very informal weddings, the Bride may wear a suit or street dress. A bridal hat or short veil may be used, with a simple corsage, white shoes, and gloves.

Fashions For Bridesmaids

Remember when choosing Bridesmaids dresses, once a year Oprah Winfrey has a TV show devoted to really bad, drop dead embarrassing Bridesmaids dresses and the ladies who wore them at a wedding!

At very formal weddings, gowns worn by Bridesmaids are often floor length, with short or long sleeves, elaborate fabrics, cap or hat headdress, gloves, floral bouquets, and shoes to match.

At semi-formal weddings, dresses are usually not quite as long as those seen at very formal weddings. Fabrics may not be as elaborate. The headdress and accessories are the same as those seen at formal weddings.

At informal weddings, dresses are often street length if the Bride wears floor length. They may also be the same length as the Bride's dress. A hat or small headpiece with or without a short veil to match the Bride may also be included. Small Bridesmaid bouquets are quite popular.

At very informal weddings, Bridesmaids often wear suits or dresses similar to the Brides. A hat may be worn, and a corsage (instead of a bouquet) may be used.

Fashions For Mothers Weddings are sometimes just as exciting for the Mothers of the Bride and Groom as they are for the newlyweds themselves!

At very formal weddings, Mothers often wear floor length evening or dinner dresses in harmonizing colors. A small hat or veil matching or contrasting the dress may be worn. Gloves, a small handbag, and a corsage may complete the ensemble.

At semi-formal weddings, Mothers may choose a slightly shorter length dinner dress.

At informal weddings, Mothers sometimes wear an elaborate street length dress with appropriate accessories.

At very informal weddings, Mom may wear a street length dress or suit similar to the attendants with a head covering and corsage.

Fashions For Grooms Similar to purchasing a new automobile, when selecting formal wear for the Groom and his male attendants there are many options.

At formal weddings, the Groom may choose to wear a black tailcoat with matching pants. A white waistcoat and bow tie accented with black patent pumps or oxfords is another option. A wing collar shirt is usually selected.

At winter semi-formal weddings, the Groom is often seen in a black dinner jacket with matching trousers, vest, and white tuxedo shirt with turned-down collars.

At summer semi-formal weddings, these same Grooms may be fashioned in a white dinner jacket with black trousers, cummerbund, white dress shirt, and black shoes.

At informal and very informal weddings, a dark gray or navy business suit may be chosen, or a white linen jacket with oxford gray trousers.

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Emergency Kit

On Wedding Day, it is recommended that an Emergency Kit containing some of the following items be readily available "just in case":

1. General

C Bottled waterC Camera/camcorderC new rolls of filmC fresh batteriesC Candy barsC hard candy, or similar treatsC Cellular phone/beeperC Credit cards/checks/moneyC Directions to wedding ceremony/receptionC Gum or mintsC Pen & paperC Phone numbers of all bridal party membersC Phone numbers of all wedding vendors (ceremony/reception locations, wedding officiant, caterer, photographer, DJ/band, florist, bakery, etc.)C Sitting Stool For Bride (In case her train is too long for a chair)Special Reminder Note: Check on Wedding Day that a responsible person will have wedding rings & marriage certificate at wedding ceremony

2. Spare Items

C BandaidsC DeodorantC Dusting/talcum powderC Electric razor/aftershave lotion for men in Bridal PartyC Hair spray/brush/barrettes/bobby pinsC Hand lotionC Handi wipes/hand towelC Kleenex tissuesC Makeup bagC Masking tape (for ripped hems)C Nail polish/glue/removerC PerfumeC Safety/bobbie pinsC Sewing kit (needle/thread/buttons/etc.)C Smelling saltsC SunscreenC Toothbrush/toothpasteC Visine (In case of tears)

3. Clothing

C Bow tie/cufflinks/shirt studs/black socks for men in Bridal PartyC (extra) Earring backingsC (extra) Flat shoes/slippersC Going away clothes after wedding ceremony/receptionC Nylons/pantyhoseC (extra) Throwaway garter

4. Health/Personal Items

C Aspirin/Tylenol/Advil/etc.C AntacidC AntihistaminesC Birth controlC Cold/allergy pillsC Feminine hygiene products (tampons/pads/etc.)C Pepto-BismolC Prescriptions/medications

There is no one "correct" way to plan or schedule a wedding day. There are an infinite number of options available that are acceptable. New trends, styles, personal preferences, and other factors may cause some of this information to become obsolete. Because of its overwhelming importance, we once again repeat our most important, numero uno tip for newlyweds: Prioritize Fun Over Everything Needing To Be Perfect! Don't fall prey to the trap of becoming a control freak. Don't try to micro-manage everything! Instead, hire and entrust competent people to handle your wedding details, and leave the details to them. That's their job. Your task is to simply enjoy your special day!